Wrong Time to Lose?

Is there ever a wrong time to lose weight? I don't expect many people or even anyone to read this, so I am writing this more for myself than anything. {I always welcome comments though!} If you read my personal blog, you'll know all about losing our daughter Olivia at 28 weeks of pregnancy. That was nearly about 2 months ago. While being pregnant, I gained back all the weight that I worked so hard to lose last year. Every. Single. Pound. 'Beyond discouraged' would be an understatement. I hate the way I look. I hate that after gaining all that weight back, I don't have a baby in my arms to make up for it. No nursing marathons to burn an extra 500 calories a day. Can I even say that I'm carrying 'baby weight'?

Nothing fits right. My body is all wonky. Even though I weigh exactly the same as I did last year, I swear that my belly is much bigger than it was back then. I am still wearing some maternity shirts. {Although, sometimes I am secretly happy about that because it reminds me of being pregnant with Olivia. Sshhhh. It's our secret.} I am just really discouraged. I am trying to give myself some grace because of all the emotional trauma I've been through. I do think about all the much cuter clothes that I was able to wear last fall for a brief time and I just feel a pang in my heart about wanting to be able to do that again.

But do I have the emotional and mental stamina to devote to counting points? What if I fail? I remember when I started WW last year, I told myself that I would just commit to one day and see how it went. One Day. Seriously. Because the whole 'lifestyle change' idea was freaking me out. But one day led to two, led to one week, led to several months which led to over 20 pounds lost. I think about committing to one day now. After losing Olivia. Will I feel better once I start doing it, feel healthier, knowing that I'm doing something good for my body? What if I don't see results? All these thoughts just keep me circling around my initial question: is there ever a wrong time to lose weight?


Peaceful Chaoz said...

Hi there! I was just thinking about you and this blog the other day, mainly because it was so encouraging reading yours while I was dealing with my weight myself and I'm in a rut as well, only I've gained back more than I lost and I haven't been pregnant for 3 years and am not in a deep grieving!! Scary for me, but like absolutley everything in life I think its good to just take it one day at a time (IN ALL THINGS)

Thanks for the reminder and for being real ;0) And if you need a wieght loss buddy, whatever you decide I will be here :0)

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