Is there ever a wrong time to lose weight? I don't expect many people or even anyone to read this, so I am writing this more for myself than anything. {I always welcome comments though!} If you read my personal blog, you'll know all about losing our daughter Olivia at 28 weeks of pregnancy. That was nearly about 2 months ago. While being pregnant, I gained back all the weight that I worked so hard to lose last year. Every. Single. Pound. 'Beyond discouraged' would be an understatement. I hate the way I look. I hate that after gaining all that weight back, I don't have a baby in my arms to make up for it. No nursing marathons to burn an extra 500 calories a day. Can I even say that I'm carrying 'baby weight'?
Nothing fits right. My body is all wonky. Even though I weigh exactly the same as I did last year, I swear that my belly is much bigger than it was back then. I am still wearing some maternity shirts. {Although, sometimes I am secretly happy about that because it reminds me of being pregnant with Olivia. Sshhhh. It's our secret.} I am just really discouraged. I am trying to give myself some grace because of all the emotional trauma I've been through. I do think about all the much cuter clothes that I was able to wear last fall for a brief time and I just feel a pang in my heart about wanting to be able to do that again.
But do I have the emotional and mental stamina to devote to counting points? What if I fail? I remember when I started WW last year, I told myself that I would just commit to one day and see how it went. One Day. Seriously. Because the whole 'lifestyle change' idea was freaking me out. But one day led to two, led to one week, led to several months which led to over 20 pounds lost. I think about committing to one day now. After losing Olivia. Will I feel better once I start doing it, feel healthier, knowing that I'm doing something good for my body? What if I don't see results? All these thoughts just keep me circling around my initial question: is there ever a wrong time to lose weight?
Showing posts with label setbacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label setbacks. Show all posts
It's amazing how one tiny piece of new information can nearly derail your whole plan for a healthy lifestyle.
I am pregnant.
I took this new information rather hard. As an emotional wreck, it wasn't that I was turning to unhealthy food for comfort, but rather abandoning the healthy foods that I knew were good for me. My attitude was that of giving up my goal of losing weight and eating healthy. Now that my waistline will only be getting bigger rather than smaller, I felt as if my efforts were in vain. As some time has passed though, {and with the help of my uber great support system}, I have come to realize that my 22 pound weight loss should not be something to just toss aside and has not been all for naught.
The encouraging news is that since I stopped counting POINTS 5 weeks ago {I am 9 weeks along}, I have not gained a single pound. I am starting this pregnancy 22 pounds lighter than I would have, had I not begun a journey towards a healthier life. I have new-found knowledge about what & how much to feed my body to keep my weight in check and also to look & feel great. I have the confidence that after this pregnancy is over, I know that I can {and will!} lose the baby weight that I will have gained. I hope to make this my healthiest pregnancy ever, as I have *always* gained much more weight than I should have.
For me, overall health means so much more than just the shape of my body. There is also emotional, mental, and spiritual health that should be considered as part of my whole. At first, I had begun to think of this pregnancy as a roadblock on my highway towards better health. A roadblock means you can't proceed. Halt. Stop. I am accepting that this is just a detour. I might not be able to stay on the same road I was on before, but my trip continues nonetheless, just with some slightly different scenery than I expected.
So this will now be considered Chronicles of an {Almost} Healthy Foodie: The Pregnancy Edition.
Still sharing my thoughts about being a healthier me, more great food tips, and hopefully encouragement as you continue on towards your destination. I'm just taking the scenic route.
I think my scale was playing tricks on me. I weighed myself when I returned from my big anniversary trip {169.5} but when I did a mid-week check, I was over 170! How disappointing. Lately my motto has been: Keep. Moving. Forward. And really that is what I am doing. What's done is done. This is not a race. This is my life. This is not a race. I think I need some refocusing time. I probably should write down some short-term goals, take a look at where I've been, and remind myself of where I'm going. All this Thanksgiving menu planning can't be helping my psyche either. Too many food thoughts. Looking forward to weigh-in on Sunday. Hoping the first two numbers are 1 and 6. Until then....
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